Category Archives: Social

I’m Sorry

I’m sorry. I couldn’t cover you up completely.But I didn’t knew that was my job,cried Bikini.

I’m sorry. I exposed your legs to the prying eyes,cried shorts. My mistake too, I let them get a view of your midriff,said tank top

I’m sorry,said the skirt,I think the slit was way too long.


I’m sorry,said the jeans ,I shouldn’t have been so tight.


I’m sorry said the top,I let your bra peep out.


I’m sorry said the duppata I shouldn’t have slipped.But believe me it was the wind.


I’m sorry said the saree,I flaunted your curves.


I’m sorry said the burkha. The guy could see your eyes.


I’m sorry said the universe. I let you believe

you were equal.


I’m sorry said the mother I should have killed you while you were in my womb.


I’m sorry said GOD. I’m ashamed I created MEN.

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Finding MR RIGHT

I am happily married (YES one can be happy and married, it can coexist) for 3 years. So, that implies I have found my “MR RIGHT” or have I?

Flashback:

From 2006-2010- I started my job, relocated cities, was staying away from home and my parents. I was discovering my likes, dislikes. I was experiencing crushes, friendship, feelings for the other sex like any normal 20+-year-old girl. I was building a checklist of the kind of guy I would end up with. Days passed and grew into years, so did my checklist. I never believed in true love or love is forever. I was quite practical and fiercely feminist. I divided the checklist into parts (Must have, Good-to-have)

So, my checklist

1)A guy who loves his bikes. (Must Have…effects of the late-night bike rides with my office group)

2)A guy who doesn’t smoke or do drugs. (Must have…I’m strictly against it)

3)A guy who doesn’t drink initially, then it changed to someone who drinks socially. (Good-to-Have).

4)Humor. (Must have…. Someone who could crack me up)

5)A guy who is not a software engineer. We both can’t be from the same fields. (Good-To-Have, I did not want to end up with someone who could give me advice on how to code, I wanted someone just to listen when I crib)

6)A guy with a creative bent (can play any musical instrument, can write poems) (Good-to-have, Words are the best way to impress me)

7)A guy who loves travelling, reading. (In between Must-have and good-to-have)

8)A guy who is well-updated with politics, sports, current affairs. (Must-have. To keep the conversation flowing always)

9)A guy who can handle my ambition. (Must have. If I think now more than ambition I wanted equality. I did not want to be the one who would compromise, sacrifice. I did not want to mold my dream, desires as per the society.)

Based on this checklist, I started knocking down advances from the opposite sex. I also knocked down my crushes and feelings from developing into liking. I was sure then (or so I thought) about my must-haves.

Finally, I ended up with my husband who can’t ride bikes, loves his drinks, no creative bent whatsoever (extremely bad with choice of words). He used to smoke and quit after we started dating. He is not an avid reader. He likes to travel but our ideas of what to do on a vacation is very different. Looks like I ended up with MR WRONG.As they say LOVE IS BLIND.

He is a mechanical engineer (Thank God for that and I think he does some very fancy things like designing a plant). He is interested in politics, sports, current affairs. He is a people person. He can crack me up (Though I still think my sense of humor is better than his). Most importantly, he is a feminist. I had a good idea that he is quite forward thinking guy, but his strong belief in equality is what I realized only after marriage. Wow, he looks like my MR RIGHT.

Honestly, I no longer care if he is MR RIGHT or MR WRONG. The only thing matters now is that we are happy together despite our flaws and differences.

This blogathon is supported by Woo, The most popular match making app in India with a base of over 3.5 million users.

 

Demonetization- How can we contribute?

 

Our honorable Prime Minister announced that 500 and 1000 notes are no longer legal. The step was taken to tackle terrorism, black money and fake currency. The move was applauded and criticized like a true democracy would. An effort is made by our government. How fruitful will it be, time would tell. But instead of being cynical, there is some way we can contribute to the future of India we all hope for.

First and foremost-

1)Keep calm and take a deep breath-

To all the honest tax-payers out there. Please do not panic. Any cash that you have in this denomination is not worthless. You will get the same worth of money. Yes, you would have to go to the bank and change it. Inconvenience for the already time-pressed People-Agreed. But the old idiom holds true,” No gain without pain”. Also, there is a 50-day time window. And after 30th December you can still exchange at selected RBI counters. So, chill and keep calm.

2)Go cashless-

I see so many people withdrawing money from ATM’s with multiple cards. If you have card, why do you need 8k a day??You can use card at multiple places. Use cash only for day to day activities like buying vegetable, milk or travel. Please use card wherever you can. This is the right to explore all the wallet companies. Open an account hassle free and live in peace. I found some rickshaws , kirana stores ,parlors accepting wallet payments. Cashless economy is the future, make yourself ready for it.

3)Help the needy-

Help your maids, drivers with cash. They need it more than you do. Use your card if you can buy something for them from the card. Give them advanced salary or loan if you can.

4)Educate people around you-

Help clear doubts of your maids,drivers,rickshaw taxi drivers about demonetization. Ask them to open bank accounts if they already don’t have. Introduce them to different ways of going cashless. I spoke to two taxi drivers, one kirana store about using wallets for accepting payments.

5)Don’t believe in rumors-

Gossip mongers have got a lot of food. Carefully review what you hear, read and forward. Do not believe in everything (including news).

Above steps would help in controlling panic and fear. Of course, the implementation and execution of demonetization has come with a set of challenges. Let’s contribute in overcoming these hurdles.

I hope this article knocked sense in some of you. For the rest, if you still queue up out of panic, at least help the elderly and the illiterate in filling up the forms. Remember, you can always be of help even in your worst form.

This post was published here

 

 

Period Stain-To Show or Not?

I came across a lot of posts and some photos, where girls were showing their period blood. Spots on bed sheets or pants. With Captions- “There is no shame, do not shy away”. With no offence to anyone, I don’t think showing blood stains on purpose is a great idea. I squirm when I see blood in the washroom or see a used pad thrown out in open. It is similar when I see stool leftover in the washroom or in open. To be fair, the sight is not pleasant and I have no qualms in accepting that. Why should it be beautiful??It is as natural as passing stool or urine and neither of them look or smell good. We are taught to keep washrooms clean. We potty train our kids and use diapers. We don’t display photos of our or our babies stool and urine (I hope not, I ‘ve seen so many weird updates on Facebook that I won’t be surprised if someone has actually done that).

I would not wear a white pant, if I know my flow is heavy and it can cause stain. To me it is as natural as the other two motions. The way I control my sensation so that it is not displayed for public, on the same lines is my period. As I mentioned in my earlier post, the advertisements idea (of wearing white pants, running) do not resonate with me.

Achievement would be, when we can discuss freely about periods with anyone under the sun. Neither me nor the person I am discussing it with feels uncomfortable about it. When all the myth surrounding the period is broken. When women can freely enter temple, period or no period. When women are not treated as untouchables. When women who suffer from period pain are shown empathy. When boys and girls are, both educated equally about periods.

When this is achieved, the girl won’t feel embarrassed if there is a stain unknowingly. She will simply go change and carry on without any prying or questioning eyes.

“This blogathon is supported by the Maya App, used by 6.5 million women worldwide to take charge of their periods and health.”

No shame I have Period Pain

My first tryst with my period was no fairy tale. It was painful with heavy flow.It would reoccur in 20 days and I bled for 8-9 days.The nightmare continued months after months. Till today,I fret when my period dates is near.

But there is a difference between my acceptance of my period pain today and when it started.The sanitary pad ads showed that you can do anything you want ( dance,jump,run) during your periods. This time of the month is like any other time. My naive mind believed what was portrayed. However my body was giving me different signs. It was asking me to relax,to take it easy,to find a comfortable position to sleep for the pain to subside. Growing up with two elder sisters who absolutely had no problems during their menses,made my determination to lead a normal life during my periods all the more strong.However my body was not with me. Forget running,I couldn’t even get up from bed at times. I was told that pain is normal,but i should not let it deter me. I sighed thinking my pain bearing capacity is less. It kind of isolated me. I found it hard to describe to others what I went through. I consulted doctors and they helped me in normalizing my period flow and pain.Yet,it was not completely painless. Yes I could carry on my with normal work ,it was not as bad but it was there. Over the years I think you learn to live with the pain.

        In early 2000, I discovered the magical world of Google and searched how many girls suffered like I did. To my surprise I realized many girls had exactly the same problems like I do. It occurred to me that our society is uncomfortable talking about periods. Many of us must be suffering from stomach ache due to periods but when asked what is the problem,we would say head ache,back ache. This is more soever true if the other party worrying about your health is from the opposite gender.It is like there is some shame in saying you are in pain due to periods.When we buy the sanitary pads,we don’t carry it openly.It is wrapped in newspaper.We even change our pads in office by secretly carrying it.It is like “Voldemort” from Harry Potter. Everyone knows it but address it as -”You know who”.The boys gang say,”It is that time of the month”,like if they say “Periods” it will engulf them and they would start to bleed.

      Probably growing up with a girl dominated family,we discussed it openly.My dad concerned about my health would keep track of my period date.He also has taken me to doctor and explained my condition.I have seen hesitation in both genders to talk about “Periods”.Girls giving subtle hints to other girls about having periods and guys plain ignorance on mistakenly overhearing the conversation.

I would like to say to all the girls ,”Having period pains and sometimes in extreme is not so uncommon.Do not go by the advertisement,they are fabricating lies.Why you suffer while others cakewalk through their time, is something no one can answer.It is like some have dust allergy and some dont. Do not shy away in communicating about it.It is one thing that is responsible for evolution of the world.So why the shame?Take pride in your contribution!!

“This blogathon is supported by the Maya App, used by 6.5 million women worldwide to take charge of their periods and health.”

Is Humanity Lost?

The other day my parents were complaining that the world is getting worse.Crime rates have gone up and people are becoming impatient.Somewhere in the midst of technology revolution,humanity is dying.

A friend was discussing that her colleague does not allow her teenage girl to travel  alone.She or somebody always accompanies her.The girl has a  mobile so she  can be in touch. I found this a bit odd as the girl is big enough to travel on own.One can argue as much as one want ,but her fears are not baseless.

I fear for my niece and nephew.Asking my siblings to teach them about child abuse and not leaving them alone in strangers place.We always warn parents to take care of what their child surf on the internet.

News of angry men/women committing heinous crimes ,make us wonder whether this generation is dealing with anger management issues.News of bomb blasts or terrorist attack every now and then leaves no country as safe.

Is this generation going south on the humanity index?

I belong to the generation where technology was just finding its foothold.In a decade ,it achieved unparalleled success.Yes,in my childhood my parents never stopped me from going out alone or no one taught me about child abuse or sex.Wars was what I read in history.

However ,I beg to differ that these crimes have shot up only in this decade.I believe we are becoming aware about them now. 24×7 news channels and hordes of newspapers ,the coverage of the crimes have increased. Also,slowly the shame and the taboo associated with the victim of these crimes being passed on to the accused,more people are forthcoming in reporting them.

Also,the new generation is not shy to talk to their children about sex.Thus,we are able to educate our children and can prevent them from any such incidents.The world was always fighting.Our history books is filled with the different rulers attacking and ruling our country. Earlier a news couldn’t travel far and wide.With advent of web,we come to know about incidents happening at the remotest locations of the world.

Caste based oppression or oppression against women always existed.If anything so,this generation can voice their opinion,can know about their rights easily.

Yes ,like everything else their are cons too.However blaming that the new generation is unsympathetic is incorrect.This generation has information.And in this century-“Information will empower people”