Monthly Archives: December 2016

Talent-Does it Really have a Gender

               Entire India rejoiced when Olympic medal was bought home by a gender they did not expect from. Shrieks of joy was heard from every corner of the medal drought nation. This feat would have inspired millions of young girls and their parents to achieve their sporting dreams. Lot of congratulatory messages were shared on all the social media platform. However, amongst the piles of forwards were some misplaced messages on feminism.

“Times are changing, Indian men wins beauty competitions and Indian women win sport medal”.

“A nation obsessed with boys, girls saved the pride of our motherland”

“Only women can love gold”

               Our boys were criticized for losing. Have we thought, does anyone go in the playground with the idea of losing? Girl or boy every sportsperson try to give their best. Our girls winning does not make our boys effort less. A medal won by a girl or boy is equally important for the nation.

               Similarly, downplaying the achievement of our “Mr World” is equally callous. Both have achieved success in their respective field. By making the above statements we are not supporting feminism. Our society has labelled the fields, sports -men domain, beauty-women domain. However, sports (physical strength attributed with male) garners more appreciation than beauty (attributed with women). A female flying high in the men domain is to be encouraged but not when men scale new heights in a female-dominated field. Is this not sexism? Comments like,” Women were not made to do everything that men can. They were made to do everything that men can’t” makes me ponder, who decides what a person can and cannot do?

             I applied a beautiful mehndi during one of the festivities and it was a guy who applied it. There were talks about how now boys will be doing girls work. Why are we gender grouping qualities? I am a girl, but extremely bad at any creative art work. I am not a great cook neither like cooking. All my packing is taken care by my husband. I do not have a great taste in clothes and accessories (my husband and sister are my fashion guides). Does that make me any less of woman and my husband less of a man??I don’t think so. We do what we like and not what we are supposed to or expected to like.

            A girl who is a tomboy (I was one) is accepted to a certain extent by the society. However, the society can’t digest the reverse. Can’t there be boys who do not like sports or gadgets? Can’t there be boys who are sensitive, creative? Can’t there be boys who like dolls rather than superheroes? Why can’t both men and women do what they have interest in rather than doing something they have no interest in.

           We have gender-divided qualities. Exhibiting male qualities is a sign of superiority and female qualities is a sign of weakness. “She is tough like a boy”, is said with pride.” Don’t cry like a girl”, is said with disgust. Worst is any male displaying a feminine streak is labelled as “Gay”. It is time we stop this practice. Any quality worth appreciating is worth appreciating whether imbibed by a girl or a boy. It makes no difference. Period. We are in midst of a revolutionary time. Our girls are groomed to break the glass ceiling. It is time we encourage our boys too to follow their dreams even if it is unconventional. We need to lay foundation of a world where everyone is free to choose based on their will and liking. Nothing is too girly or too boyish. A world where talent is rewarded and respected equally irrespective of the gender that exhibits it.

The post was first published here

Finding MR RIGHT

I am happily married (YES one can be happy and married, it can coexist) for 3 years. So, that implies I have found my “MR RIGHT” or have I?

Flashback:

From 2006-2010- I started my job, relocated cities, was staying away from home and my parents. I was discovering my likes, dislikes. I was experiencing crushes, friendship, feelings for the other sex like any normal 20+-year-old girl. I was building a checklist of the kind of guy I would end up with. Days passed and grew into years, so did my checklist. I never believed in true love or love is forever. I was quite practical and fiercely feminist. I divided the checklist into parts (Must have, Good-to-have)

So, my checklist

1)A guy who loves his bikes. (Must Have…effects of the late-night bike rides with my office group)

2)A guy who doesn’t smoke or do drugs. (Must have…I’m strictly against it)

3)A guy who doesn’t drink initially, then it changed to someone who drinks socially. (Good-to-Have).

4)Humor. (Must have…. Someone who could crack me up)

5)A guy who is not a software engineer. We both can’t be from the same fields. (Good-To-Have, I did not want to end up with someone who could give me advice on how to code, I wanted someone just to listen when I crib)

6)A guy with a creative bent (can play any musical instrument, can write poems) (Good-to-have, Words are the best way to impress me)

7)A guy who loves travelling, reading. (In between Must-have and good-to-have)

8)A guy who is well-updated with politics, sports, current affairs. (Must-have. To keep the conversation flowing always)

9)A guy who can handle my ambition. (Must have. If I think now more than ambition I wanted equality. I did not want to be the one who would compromise, sacrifice. I did not want to mold my dream, desires as per the society.)

Based on this checklist, I started knocking down advances from the opposite sex. I also knocked down my crushes and feelings from developing into liking. I was sure then (or so I thought) about my must-haves.

Finally, I ended up with my husband who can’t ride bikes, loves his drinks, no creative bent whatsoever (extremely bad with choice of words). He used to smoke and quit after we started dating. He is not an avid reader. He likes to travel but our ideas of what to do on a vacation is very different. Looks like I ended up with MR WRONG.As they say LOVE IS BLIND.

He is a mechanical engineer (Thank God for that and I think he does some very fancy things like designing a plant). He is interested in politics, sports, current affairs. He is a people person. He can crack me up (Though I still think my sense of humor is better than his). Most importantly, he is a feminist. I had a good idea that he is quite forward thinking guy, but his strong belief in equality is what I realized only after marriage. Wow, he looks like my MR RIGHT.

Honestly, I no longer care if he is MR RIGHT or MR WRONG. The only thing matters now is that we are happy together despite our flaws and differences.

This blogathon is supported by Woo, The most popular match making app in India with a base of over 3.5 million users.